The X of Cups and the Joy of Now

I don’t wanna brag (or jinx myself for that matter!), but I have drawn the X of Cups for my daily tarot card during four days out of the last seven days this week. The X of Cups! This is the card of joy, fulfillment, and happily ever after. This card signifies peace, love, familial contentment, and harmony. How lovely! I kept thinking- perfect joy and happiness are just around the corner.

X of Cups tarot card from the Meraki tarot deck.

Hold up. Wait a minute. Just around the corner? I’m drawing tarot cards for the day- for today. Why am I reading this card as something yet to come?

Basically, what I couldn’t get through my thick skull is that joy wasn’t on the way. It is now. This is the best time. This is when I have everything I need. I am happy. I am fulfilled. Things are going really well! But, why wasn’t I recognizing that? Why did I keep thinking the card must be about some future time?

It’s pretty simply really: we humans have a tendency to always want more, to always dream bigger, to put off joy until we reach 100% total perfection. That’s the norm in this day and age. We find it incredibly difficult to focus on what’s going right. We aren’t programmed to look on the bright side. It takes an effort to do so. That’s why so many people are into affirmations, because these positive phrases don’t come naturally. We have to work to focus on the positive. We have to stop and force ourselves to begrudgingly admit that we are enough, usually with an air of disbelief.  I definitely fall firmly into this category of “we humans”.

I definitely wasn’t looking at all that is going right in my life. Instead of noticing my feelings of fulfillment and content, I was focusing on what’s going wrong. I was focusing on lack. I was focusing on the problems I’m facing. I was looking at all the things that I wasn’t doing, that I should be, how I’m falling behind. I was in a whirlwind of productivity shaming. I was withholding the feeling of being enough. I certainly wasn’t vibing with the X of Cups being a present moment thing.

X of Cups tarot card from the Wild Unknown tarot deck.

For example, I recently lost my job. And I liked that job, it was interesting and fun. And I needed that job to pay the bills. But, at the same time, it wasn’t a well-paying job, or a secure job (obviously!), or a job where I was appreciated or valued. Now that I am unemployed, I have the opportunity to consider what else there is for me when it comes to work. What work do I actually want to do? What new opportunities would I like to explore? What might be a better fit, or pique my curiosity, or open up new doors for me? When you’re in a temporary job, even one that is fulfilling and engaging, there is always the knowledge that change is coming and you’ll have to find something new. That time is now. Now is fully of the blessing of opportunity.

The X of Cups also speaks about alignment between values and actions. If I value myself as a human being, I’m not going to work for a company that doesn’t hold that same value. I don’t want to just be a cog in a machine. I don’t want to be treated like an AI program. I deserve to be acknowledged, appreciated, and valued at my job. This time of unemployment is a one of alignment, of deep personal consideration, and when I can remember my worth.

And luckily I have some savings so I have buffer time to look for work that could be a good fit for me. It’s not all the time in the world, but I’m not desperate yet. And for me, this buffer time is the joy of the X of Cups. I’m not a person who relishes work. I don’t actually want a job. I’m not someone who would still go to work if they were independently wealthy. I now get to spend my days how I would like. I’m constantly outside enjoying the snow. I get to delve into creative projects that I find deeply meaningful (have you noticed there have been more blog posts than usual!?). I have time to read, cook, workout, and walk with Cosmo. I am learning how to sew new patterns. I’m editing photographs from years ago. I’m connecting with friends I haven’t seen in months. I get to help out my family, “spring clean” the house, and try new recipes. Overall, right now, not working, is when I am happiest. 

There is definitely an irony there: not having a job is my greatest stress and not working is when I’m most joyful. 

X of Cups tarot card from the Linestrider tarot deck.

That’s life! We never reach 100% perfection. And the present is the time to be joyful. When you draw the X of Cups, consider what is joyful in your life even if you’re going through a really hard time. This card is still talking about right now. Life isn’t all joy or all despair. Things can be both. Things can be everything at once. Don’t we all know that on some level? All the feels can be happening at the same time. This is true on both a personal and societal level.

Say, for instance, that you’ve had something really hard happen to you lately. Perhaps you or someone you know has lost their job and is in a financially uncertain situation. This is stressful, you don’t know how you’re going to pay the bills. And it’s sad, you liked that job. And you’re angry, because they still haven’t gotten you your last pay check. But at the same time, there are other things going on in your life. It’s your favorite season of the year. A lot of snow has fallen so you can do all the sports you enjoy outside. Your friends and family are happy and healthy. You overheard a really funny joke at the grocery store. It’s ok to be having a hard time and a good time at the same time. They aren’t mutually exclusive. In fact, that is the way life is. 

And this applies to the state of the world as well, not just to your own personal experience. There are so many difficult things happening in our world, and it can seem worse than ever to many of us. Rights are eroding, wars are being fought, people are being oppressed. But focusing only on these terrible things means that you don’t leave room to notice the beauty that is happening in the world. People are coming to understand cultural differences, learning how to organic farm, helping each other stay warm, and coming together in beautiful ways. It matters that you notice this. It isn’t spiritual bypassing and it isn’t wearing rose-tinted glasses. Good things are happening every day, and when we dismiss them, it isn’t a service to the world. It’s just missing out on the point of life- that there are ups and downs, goods and bads, lights and darks. That is the nature of existence.

So, next time you draw the X of Cups and start to daydream about some future when all your problems are gone, take a step back. Notice what is beautiful about your life right now. Focus on where you are aligned and feel harmonious. Count your blessings. Allow that there is so much that is great about your life, right now, even though there are also things that are hard. You don’t want to miss out on the good stuff. The X of Cups is here to remind you to focus on happiness, joy, love, and fulfillment. It is here on some level, congratulations. 

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

-Guillaume Apollinaire