Feeling Low with the III of Swords — The Willow Path Tarot

I’m back from vacation! If you haven’t been following along with my posts, I just went on a two week vacation to Brazil. It was incredible, ya’ll. I love traveling and I love Brazil, and this trip did not disappoint. We went to incredible sights, laid on the beach, swam in waterfalls, visited old friends, ate delicious food, and basked in the wonder of a different land. It was two weeks of nonstop action and fun, which means that there was not much downtime.

Me at Saltos de Monday falls in Ciudad del Este, Paraguay.

So, I’m back and I’m now super low energy and getting a cold. Let’s hope it’s just a cold and not something worse. This is the low after the high. This is a totally normal part of the process because life needs to balance out. What goes up must come down, that type of thing. When we are go, go, go all the time, afterwards comes a period of rest. When we experience wonder and joy, afterwards we need to dip into exhaustion and sadness.

Well, some may argue that an even-keeled approach is possible and probably healthier. No high highs, and no low lows. Keep things on a tighter balance and then the swings back and forth are less aggressive and severe. That sounds good in theory to me, but then some high highs are dangled before my eyes and I can’t resist. It’s an addiction to the thrill.

I chose the III of Swords to represent this feeling of being thrown into the lows because it is painful and can be full of grief. It isn’t the gentle rest of the IV of Swords or the chosen retreat of the VIII of Cups. There is a choice inherent in the III of Swords, it was the choice made in the II of Swords to go after the thrill and to throw caution to the wind. But with that choice comes the payback, there will be consequences. Think of it as the hangover after a night of partying. The good times felt exquisite at the time, you silenced the little voice that spoke of the aftermath, perhaps foolishly wishing that you would escape the hangover this one time. But you don’t.

Praia Vermelha and Pão de Açucar, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

The III of Swords often speaks of deeper and more complicated grief than the headache after a bender. What about the pain of the loss and separation after a love? So many of us have the same romantic patterns, going after partners that aren’t right for us because of some exquisite feeling that person evokes. It is so good, until it ends in tears, heartbreak, and regret. On some level we know it was our fault because the pattern is obvious, but we still hope that maybe this next lover will break free of that pattern for some unknown reason. But they don’t.

It is said that we learn through our pain. Eventually we decide that it is better to go to bed on time instead of dancing the night away so that we can have that beautiful breakfast we planned with friends. Or we find a partner who isn’t anything like our usual attractions and they turn out to be a great love and stable partner. Lessons can be learned from the pain of the III of Swords, it is a low numbered card after all. The idea is that we grow and evolve over time.

The Devil’s Throat part of Foz de Iguaçu waterfalls, Brazil

I’m not saying that the lessons of the III of Swords are all good and fair, though. Why can’t life be more fun and exciting? What can’t we have our cake and eat it too? It’s perfectly understandable and acceptable to cry and feel sorry for yourself when going through the pain of a low after the choice to experience a high. The pain is still real and oftentimes feels deeply unfair. It seems like other people get to have more fun than us or not suffer so many consequences. And maybe that is true, but probably not. Some people do live easier lives, but does that mean they don’t suffer deeply over what we would consider minor pains? Or perhaps they have evolved beyond the basic equanimity that we struggle with at this point. We are each on our own path.

Almacegas I waterfall in the Chapada dos Veadeiros, Brazil.

Growth and life are spiralic. It isn’t really a surprise when a lesson comes back around that we thought we had learned a long time ago. Or sometimes the consequences are never a sufficient deterrent to the thrill and we don’t learn the lesson to abstain from the highs. I’m not sure if I will ever go on a trip and get enough sleep, rest often, or make all healthy choices. An illness and fatigue from a trip seems like a small price to pay for weeks of wonder and awe. I’ll muddle through my work as best I can, continue to post somewhat ill thought out blog posts, and dose myself with Vitamin C. The low may be low, but I have the memory and the photos of the high to warm my heart.

I’m not going to learn the lesson of balance and equanimity this time around. I’m going to seize life and squeeze too much joy out of it at a time. Then I’m going to be a dried up husk for a while until I can replenish myself. I try to stay balanced about a lot of other things, but travel is my weak spot. I’m not sure I want t to go on a trip and not overdo it. And that’s my choice. What actions are you willing to take even though you know your choices will lead to hardship and pain? Is it really a problem? I’m sure my work will suffer a bit, but maybe if they gave me any paid time off, they would get better work overall. Ha, there’s a justification!

Anyway, I’m glad to be back writing for you in the moment. I’d love to hear about what you wouldn’t stop doing even though you have to go through the III of Swords afterwards. Join me in the land of no regrets, you only live once!